When I look back on my life, there are a lot of things I am glad I did. Some are obvious; traveling, paying my bills on time, etc. But there are 5 things that I can think of that aren't necessarily "obvious" decisions that I feel really changed my life for the better. Here I will break those down and tell you why I feel these decisions were the best for me.
(In no particular order)
1. Getting a Nose Job
For me, this was huge. Literally. My nose was not "the worst" but I hated it. It was long and pointed down which made my chin look larger because they basically pointed at each other. It was also broad, had a bump, and had some weird dent in my right nostril. It wasn't pretty. And there is was, right at the center of my face. Now I am not saying that everyone should strive to have perfect features and hate their flaws. You are beautiful no matter what. But, I also feel that if there is something you can do to feel more confident in your own skin, do it. I love myself. But I love myself more with a cute nose.
The procedure completely changed my face. Though only the nose changed, it seemed my chin got smaller because they weren't angled at each other anymore. I now like my side profile and I feel this was the nose I was always supposed to have. If you are considering it, and can afford it, I say do it. It was possibly the best decision I ever made for myself.
If you are interested in getting rhinoplasty and are looking for a good doctor, I would suggest mine. He has done 5 other people that I know and all of them look just as fab as me. His name is Dr. Kassir and he is located in NJ/NY.
2. Rocking a Pixie Cut
This is a decision I wish I had made post nose job because I feel it would have looked even better and I would have been even more into it than I already was. But I digress. Let's start at the beginning. 7 years go I decided to chop all my hair off after seeing Emma Watson do it and deciding I wanted to be that level of bad bitch. I loved having no hair. I wasn't totally buzzed but I was pretty close. It was easy to deal with and I never had to spend time on it. I think if I did it today I would get more creative with it; different styles and colors for example. But back then I had never colored my hair before and I was looking for ease. This was huge for me because I feel we as women often hide behind our hair. I know from my own experience I can go from a 2 to a 10 just by doing a little something different to my hair. This took that away and forced me to just be confident completely in my own skin. I loved it. It gave me a huge boost and I got compliments daily. Many people said things like "I wish I could pull that off." The truth is, you can. Anyone can. You just have to be brave enough to do it. And hey, if you hate it.. buy a wig until it grows out. Wigs are super fun anyway. The one thing I hated about it was the grow-out process. I rocked different versions of a mullet at different stages. That sucked. And that is the only reason I haven't done it again. I think I will some day, and this time I will wig out until its at a normal length again.
3. Taking Pole Dancing Classes
When I was 21 I decided to take a pole dancing class at a local studio. I thought it would be something fun to do but didn't expect much because I was not only severely uncoordinated but I had zero muscles. I fell in love on the first day. As I suspected, I couldn't do a single thing. But, I saw the instructor and how amazing she was and I knew I wanted to get there some day. So I started going more and more often. Eventually I became the office manager at that same studio and performed in several showcases. I was never exceptionally talented but I was able to push my body to places I never thought imaginable. I got strong. Really strong. And I was still uncoordinated and not at all flexible, but I used my strength to hit some of the more challenging tricks.
My biggest pet peeve around pole dancing is when people say, "oh I can't do that I have no upper body strength." THAT IS LITERALLY WHY YOU GO TO POLE! (Same concept applies to other aerials as well.) Its the same as saying, "I can't go to the gym I am not strong enough to lift weights." Well duh, that's why you're there! Different pole classes have different goals. Some are more dance oriented, some are more for tricks, some are light and flows and just designed to make you feel sexy. You may thrive in one and not in another which is why I think it is important to try a little of everything. I have always been more of a tricks girl and less of a dancer but I enjoy those classes anyway because they focus on my weaknesses.
My favorite thing about pole is that you can put your body through so much physical pain, but in the end it makes something beautiful. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it's hard. Yes, I have bruises and burns all over. But when you get that move you have been practicing for weeks? Nothing beats that feeling.
The physical aspect of pole isn't the only reason it is on this list. Sure I loved that I got strong and muscular and way more bad ass. But I also loved the community. The other people in the classes are always there to lift you up, sometimes literally. Some tricks require us to quite literally trust someone with out life. Everyone cheers each other on and helps each other out. And we all have some type of pain and struggle to bond over. Even if it is your first day and the spin you're working on is easy for someone else who is much more advanced, they get it. Not only because they have been in your shoes already, but because they are in your shoes now.. just with a different move. I have made some amazing life long friends from pole and the online community is just as supportive and inclusive. If you want to find a supportive space where anything goes where you can truly express yourself, I would suggest looking up the nearest studio and signing up for a class.
*I could go on about this topic for hours because I am very passionate about it, so I will stop here but if you have any questions about it or want to discuss further, please reach out in the comments, by sending us an email , or slide on in to our instagram DMs.*
4. Signing Up For a Massage Envy Membership
This one is a bit different from the last 3 in that it is the only one that wasn't a confidence booster or made me feel better about myself. However, it did make me feel better physically and mentally. Because I was doing things like pole and also just overall stress from school (I was in college when I started getting massages) I had lots of knots in my back and was always in pain. Sure, I could go on Groupon and get a massage each month from a different place for cheaper than my massage envy membership. But lets be honest, that's a lot of work and I would probably never stay consistent. This way I am forced to go every month because I am already paying for it and if I find someone I like I can stick with them. I had someone for a while who was my all time favorite but he moved away. ~ I still love you Marvin, come back to me. ~
I came to love my monthly massages because physically they really helped with pain and mentally they were a great time to clear my mind or reflect on what was going on in my life with absolutely no distractions. I would just lie with my eyes closed, completely relaxed and think on things or not think of anything at all; whatever I needed in that moment. I know this is a luxury and not everyone can afford it (if were being honest I can't even really afford it. ) But if you can, I would suggest doing something like this for yourself. Pamper yourself. It feels good and I wouldn't give it up for anything.
5. Being Single in my 20's
This is a huge one. I have really strong opinions on this and I firmly believe everyone should have a single phase in their twenties. I know everyone is different and some people marry their high school sweethearts and I find that to be sweet in movies but in real life I can't help but feel like these people are missing out. I just think your twenties are such a crucial time for growth. It is when you go from high school/ college version of "adult" to like real life "I need a job and possibly rent and I have bills" adult. There is a lot of transition in this time and I just think its important to not limit yourself by being with one person the whole time. I think it is hard to know who you are if you grow up being with someone else. I think that is just a version of you with them. If I met my soulmate tomorrow and then things didn't work out 10+ years from now, I would want to know who I am on my own so that I could be that person without them. I feel that is hard to do if you never took time alone in your adult life.
I also think this is the time to experiment. Go on dates. Have sex. Do whatever. Figure out what you like. Dating / sleeping with different people will show you what you do and don't like. And yes, there will be some bad situations. Some things you wish didn't happen. Probably some heartbreak. But I think all those things teach you something too. I know for me, at 27, I am still learning what I want from a relationship and what I want sexually. I know thats "taboo" to talk about but realistically you're not going to be compatible with everyone you're with and that is hard to know until you have been with more people and you are like .. "oh, that's what it is supposed to be like." Trust me, even I am still having experiences like that all these years later.
This is a touchy subject because some people don't agree. Some people don't want multiple partners. Some people want to wait until marriage. Some people have been with the same partner forever. And that is all ok. I don't want you to think I think you're wrong. I just know what worked for me and if I had to suggest it I would. But please, do you. Do what fulfills you when it comes to relationships and sex. And if you ever want to talk about it, whether it be for boy advice or sex questions or anything in between, I am here. I really honestly mean that. I would love to hear from you guys. What worked for you? What didn't? What advice would you give? Do you agree or disagree? I want to hear all of it. So please don't be shy. We don't judge here at G4G. Slide into our Dm's, leave a comment, or send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Can't wait to hear from you.